|Image courtesy of http://chibird.tumblr.com/|
I'm not actually sure I've ever fully talked about my decisions behind starting this blog.
The reason is quite simple really: endometriosis needs awareness.
When I started EMLWY, back in 2010, I needed support. My coil had stopped working and the pain was back. I was disheartened. I had expected the effects of the coil to keep my endometriosis symptoms at bay for the next 5 years. I hadn't considered it not working.
I had previously had a group on Facebook where I shared information that I came across about the disease but I never really talked about my own problems on there. When Facebook changed, my group was deleted and I felt like I needed a new outlet. I originally started a general blog, not knowing what I wanted to write about. I added a few little photos but then deleted it. It eventually made sense to create EMLWY. A place where I could vent my frustrations and let others know about the disease.
I didn't write very often back then and it's only since my endometriosis flared up in February that I've really embraced the blog and started using it as a source of therapy. I haven't been able to work since February and after being made redundant in May I decided to write more regularly about my experiences, I guess more in the hope that someone would sympathise. That's all I wanted. People to just recognise what I was having to deal with. In the process though, I've found a whole new support system (along with some wonderful people) and I've realised that yes, I have had a shitty year, and yes, a whole world of bad things have happened, but there are people out there who are in just the same position if not worse. That alone has given me a new perspective on things.
I wanted EMLWY to show people what living with this disease was like - what it actually meant to have it there every day, to cope with the emotions of it as well as the physical symptoms. Friends knew I had endometriosis, but I didn't very often talk about what it was doing to my body. EMLWY gave me that opportunity. I felt people needed to know. I felt I had to justify what I was going through because I felt nobody understood. My symptoms had worsened as the disease had spread over the years and yet, still, people didn't even know what endometriosis was. So this blog has become almost no holds barred. Apart from the odd things, I do pretty much talk about everything. I'm past the point of embarrassment now - people need to know... Maybe if I was single I wouldn't talk about quite so many things in detail, but I have the boy, and the boy lives this too.
EMLWY has now become, not only a place for me to seek help, but also a place for others to gain information on the disease and help for what they are going through too. I've spoken to young girls on here and it makes me think about how upset and scared I was at the prospect of this disease at 21, let alone going through this at 16 when I'm battling so many other teenage issues.
My aim all along has been to get as many people to just read the word endometriosis as possible because then they will at least have some recollection of it, even if they don't know what it is. I never push this in anyone's face, all I ask is that you realise there is a disease out there called endometriosis, and it affects millions of women worldwide.